So let’s play doctor, babe! We’ll operate today

 

So it’s been a hot second since I’ve posted. 6 months plus?  Sheesh!

I’m currently at about 50 pounds down.  COVID and the quarantining thereof have been a bitch to deal with.  For a while, the gyms were closed, which sucked hardcore.  Nowhere to go, nothing to do…but eat.  And I did.  I’ve gained roughly 10 pounds back, 3 of which I’ve lost again, as of today.  I was hoping this would be easy, but it’s not.  When you are a food addict/emotional eater/whatever you want to call it, it’s hard.  You can’t just stop eating.  You can only modify your intake – the quantity and quality.

So I say to myself, “buck up, lil camper” — do what you gotta do.  I’ve upped my protein intake, I drink so much water I have to pee every 15 minutes, and I’m working out more than ever.  I go to the gym, I go for walks, and I have equipment I use at home.

That’s all I can do, really.  Keep pushing forward and keep trying.

Meanwhile, my husband came down with the virus.  That did not help my stress levels any.  I tested negative.  We quarantined.  He’s fine now, and his symptoms were relatively mild, so he was lucky.  I am grateful.

Until the next time, folks.  Be safe, and wear a mask.

Progress, not perfection…?

Well, here I am, about 3 months post-op.  38 pounds down.  Which is…good.  But not great.  I’ll admit, I’m frustrated.  I have a feeling I know why I’m not losing as fast as I’d like.  And that’s because I’m a lazy sack o’ shit who doesn’t like to work out, LOL!  Yeah.  The pounds would be melting off if I went for walks or went to the gym more than I do.  *sigh*  I just can’t seem to get myself motivated.  For the first several weeks after surgery, I was just exhausted and lethargic.  Now, I’m just lazy.  I’ve got to snap out of this somehow.  My surgeon gave me a goal to get down to 200 pounds by my next appointment (mid-February).  That’s 12 pounds.  Not insurmountable, but it’ll take work.

I’ve just gotta do it.

Before pics

250 pounds.

Update

Well I’m a week post-op. I’m a bit achy. Which I guess is to be expected. I’ve got 5 incisions on my belly. The first few days were ROUGH. Keeping water down was a challenge, let alone other clear liquids (broth, tea, etc.). Puking up bile is no fun, kids. I would say that the first couple of days were like having a really bad hangover. But worse. That’s the only way that I can describe it.

But I’m doing a bit better now — keeping down things like protein shakes and yogurt.

I have my post-op appointment with my surgeon next Tuesday. Hopefully that’ll go smoothly.

Tomorrow it’s surely nearer now

I hear that Morrissey is…problematic. Ah well.  The song somewhat fits the theme of this post.

Tomorrow is the day! Gastric sleeve surgery!

I am both nervous and excited.  I’ve never had any sort of surgery before.  I’m also nervous as to what other people think.  A few people that I’ve told think that I don’t need it.  Which is sweet of them to say; I guess I carry my weight well.  But I have a BMI of over 40, and I’m 100 pounds overweight, which means I’m an ideal candidate for the surgery.  So there we go.  I check in at 9am, and surgery is at 11.  The surgeon said it should take an hour to an hour and a half.  I’m nervous about the lifestyle change that comes along with this.  Different diet, wayyyyyyyy smaller amounts of food.  No more Tour de Fat.  I know I can do this, though.  And it will all be worth it when my cholesterol is lower, my blood pressure is normal, I (hopefully) don’t snore anymore, I’m less achy and have more energy.  It also won’t hurt that I’ll be a (smaller) hotty pototty.

I plan on  taking pictures and videos.  Maybe something amusing will come out of my mouth while I’m hopped up on painkillers.

Most of all, I just hope this goes smoothly.  Wish me luck.

It’s The Final Countdown

I am exactly one week out from my surgery.  I am both excited and scared.  I’ve never had surgery before.

I’ve started my low carb, low fat, high protein pre-op diet.  Good times.  On the day before surgery, I can only have liquids.  That’s going to make me an absolute JOY to be around, for sure.  I’m not so worried about the post-op diet stages I’ll have to go through, because my stomach will be so much smaller, so less food shouldn’t make me cranky.  We shall see.

I’ve ballooned up to 250 pounds — the Tour de Fat did not help that situation at all.  But it was fun to have a last hurrah before the pre-op diet and surgery.  Now I’m going to start losing.  I can’t wait!!!

I gotta believe that you’re there when I sing

Weird-ass video aside, I’m in love with this song.  Another strong showing from Jimmy Eat World.  This song is on repeat.

I’m sitting on the couch, half-high on muscle relaxers.  My neck is still bothering me.  A week later, and you’d think I’d be in tip-top shape.  Nah.  Not me.

I’ve been reading up, still, on Gastric Sleeve Surgery.  There’s a good number of blogs, Facebook groups and forums dedicated to it.  I will not being going into this blindly.  And it’s nice to “interact” with people who are going through it.

I’m impatient, though.  I’m still a few weeks out, and I just want to DO IT already.  I want to start the process.

In the meantime, Eric and I are doing what we’ve been calling the “Tour de Food” or “Tour de Fat” — basically eating wherever and whatever our little hearts desire.  Since I’m going to be changing my lifestyle so drastically, I’m getting it all in while I can, LOL.  Show me the way to the All You Can Eat Buffet!

It’s not going to be a picnic, the whole post-op scenario.  But it will be so worth it.

Back to school again…

Ah yes, as a bonus prize for visiting my blog, you get excellent video content such as the one above.  LOL.

Several months ago, my husband went back to school.  The company pays for it, so why not?  He’s going for his Business degree.  And doing very well at it (show off)!  So that inspired me to go back to school.  Sort of.  I signed up for a 2 week/4 session course at Rice University for Human Resources.

I’ve worked on the staffing/recruitment/talent acquisition side of HR for almost 20 years.  I’ve had some exposure to some of the other aspects, but not a lot.  So I thought it would be a good idea for me to learn a little bit more about the other sides.  I have no intention of leaving my current job.  But I feel like enhancing my knowledge can only be a good thing.

I passed!

I’m very proud of myself that I stuck with it, and attended all the classes.  It was all run online, so that was helpful.  If I’d had to attend in person (and drive all the way to and from Houston to do so), it would have be a no go.  But all I had to do was listen to the lecturer (and participate in “discussions” via a chat board), take the modules’ quizzes and the final exam.  3 hours a night for 4 nights.  Not too difficult.

I feel as if I learned a decent amount in the class – a good primer of HR.  I am notoriously bad at not retaining info that well, though, long term.  For example, all the stuff I learned in college.  *sigh*  But I’ll be holding on to my coursebook and workbook for this program, and trying to review the info and retain what I can.

I would definitely do something like this again.  Courses to keep my skills fresh and keep learning.  It probably wouldn’t hurt me to take a course in Excel or PowerPoint or something like that.

What are you doing to enhance your skill set?

Our little group has always been, and always will be, until the end

I have spent much of the day listening to/watching Tori Amos videos on YouTube.  It’s good background music for whatever else I’m doing.  Which is mainly pinning stuff on Pinterest, and Facebook scrolling.  I’m spending more and more time alone.  Not sure why that is.  I guess I’m going through an anxious stage, where I’m just afraid to be around people.

A few weeks ago, I went to a bar for some beers, it was Sunday Funday after all.  A guy sat down next to me and we started to chat.  He was nice, for the most part, but later got a bit more aggressive in his flirting.  Some of the things he said and did made me quite uncomfortable, but I just ignored it.  I was nice, but made it clear that I was not interested, that I was married, etc.  He eventually left. 

I don’t know how to react in situations like that.  I’ve lived out here in Texas just shy of 3 years now, and it’s been very hard to make friends.   I am very socially anxious, in that I don’t think people actually WANT to get to know me and be my friend.  So when I get a shred of attention, I don’t want to turn that down.  Even if it’s from a seemingly shady dude.  That’s pretty pathetic, actually. 

It makes me miss my San Diego friends something fierce.  I miss feeling safe in their collective arms.  They’re a special group from a special time in my life.  And as time passes, it’s fading away, no matter how much I don’t want it to. 

I could say the same thing about my college friends as well. 

It seemed so easy back then.  I have no idea why now I just can’t seem to get it together.  I need to make more of an effort to go out and be social.  It’s not healthy to be a hermit.  I work from home for a company based in California, so it’s not like I can make work friends.  I get out for the occasional outing to the grocery store or pharmacy.  That’s about it. 

B-B-B Bennie, she’s a cat

Isn’t she adorable?