Author Archives: meredithelaine

About meredithelaine

thirty-something. karaoke diva. just trying to get by.

Thoughts right now

I’ve got a lot on my mind, so I guess I’m just going to dump it here.  I’m home alone on a Saturday night, which is both good and bad.  I’m used to it, I guess.  I miss having friends.  … Continue reading

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Sorry (I ain’t sorry)…

WordPress informs me that it’s been over 2 years since my last post.  WordPress also saved my password for all this time.  Good thing, since I have no idea what it is. Meanwhile, every other site is asking me to … Continue reading

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You’ll never know when it starts, until there’s fog inside the glass around your summer heart…

Today has been a day.  I’ve felt guilty and beaty-uppy-on-myself.  I’ve spent most of the day feeling terrible about myself.  Not that that’s such a departure from the norm.  I’m trying to combat these thoughts.  I’m a good wife, a … Continue reading

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I am not your friend, I’m not your lover, I’m not your family

I don’t like being told what to do, when it comes to ME.  I am my own person.  I know what’s right for me, and I know what I do and don’t want to change about myself. I do not … Continue reading

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Discouraged

I did it again.  I tried on jeans that are sitting in my drawer.  And of COURSE they don’t fit, of course I’m getting fatter.  I’m going absolutely batshit crazy over this. I had a mini-binge.  I tried to implement … Continue reading

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I choose defeat; I walk away – and leave this place the same today…

  Go figure. Last post I made was lamenting about my weight, self-loathing, etc. Several months later, here I am, embarking on my 3rd week of treatment.  I’m in intensive outpatient therapy for my eating disorder.  Binge Eating Disorder (BED).  Compulsive/Emotional … Continue reading

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Grumble, grumble, chomp, chomp.

I’m sleeping more these days.  Not when I should (nighttime), but naps. I’d rather flop down on the couch and nap than face the world.  I’m gaining weight so rapidly.  I can’t really be bothered to do my hair.  I’m … Continue reading

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