Long weekends are kinda blissful, aren’t they? Lord knows I certainly needed it.
My work-related breakdowns have continued. I am very tired. But, as I’ve stated about 4 billion times, I can’t quit. I can’t look for a new job. Not that I’m rolling in the dough, but any job that I could take that would be less stressful, would pay at LEAST $5 per hour LESS than I make now. Being as in debt as I am – that’s just not feasible. So all I can do is try and hone some coping skills.
I have to make any appointment with my doctor later this month anyway, to get a check up, re-up my prescriptions and all that. I may get a referral to see a therapist or a psych-doc again. Maybe I need meds again. Maybe I need talk therapy.
All I know is that I cannot go on with the tears brimming in my eyes, the tightness in my chest and the urge to punch people in the face. It’s ridiculous. I don’t like the way it’s affecting me, and my relationships with others.
I’m starting to get a migraine as I type this. Just thinking about the stress is…stressful.
I’m getting consumed by feelings of doom, self-doubt and failure.
It’s going to be okay. Eventually. It’s just not, right now.
(I repeat myself a lot in this blog. How annoying…)