Drowning in Soup

For 36 hours of this week, I attempted the Cabbage Soup Diet with a couple of friends.

Which automatically makes me think of THIS.  Man, you gotta be old school to remember that shit.  I remember being in Elementary school, and we’d watch weird PBS shows in “Library” class.  Why we watched TV shows in “Library” – I’ll never know.

Anyway, back to the soup.

We decided to give this a try, because we were feeling sluggish, icky.  The conversation turned to cleanses.  After researching some cleanses, we decided on the Cabbage Soup Diet.  One of the girls had done it before, and lost 10 pounds in a week. WIN!  So, what the hell, right?

Upon first taste, which was on Sunday as the soup was cooking, I was actually psyched.  Because it’s quite yummy. UNTIL YOU EAT 6 CUPS OF IT IN ONE DAY. Basically, you can eat all the soup you want, because the caloric value is negligible.  Then each day has different food rules that you follow.  For example, Day One – you eat as much soup as you want, and then any fruits except bananas.  The alternating of foods is supposed to help aid with the cleansing.

So on Day One, I go all gung-ho on the soup.  Six cups worth.  And try to choke down some fruit.  I’m really not too much of a fruit fan, so this was very painful for me.  I was pouring No-Salt on the fruit to make it tolerable.  Fruit is just TORTURE to me.  I have to be REALLY in the mood for it to be able to enjoy it.  And that’s a rarity.   A lot of it is a texture thing. *shudder*

And honestly, if I want something sweet…just give me freakin’ chocolate.

Throughout the day, I felt myself becoming more and more lightheaded and weak.  I started making lots of typos in my typing, I got clumsy, and felt very out of it.  It was mindblowing how much of a dippity-do I was being.  This continued throughout the evening and into Day Two.

Day Two was Vegetable Day!  All the soup you want, and vegetables.   I picked up a package of celery and carrots at 7-11, planning on having them for breakfast.  When I opened the package – the veggies were all dry and looked like they were on the verge of going bad.

FANTASTIC.

I ate 3/4 of a can of chickpeas.  The diet said “no dry beans” were allowed on Vegetable Day.  I’m not sure what a “dry bean” is.  I’m assuming chickpeas are not in this category, because they were in a can in water.  So they’re “wet beans,” right?

As the morning progressed, I felt like I was going to pass out, and had very little patience (read: I started becoming a raging bitch).  Lunch time came, and I could barely eat any of the soup.  I had eaten SO much on Day One, that the mere thought of eating more of it…made me start to gag.

I’m hungry, nauseous and miserable.

As a group, we decided to give up the fight.  2 out of the 3 of us were not feeling well, and all 3 of us were just kinda plain sick of the soup.

For dinner, we got Chinese food delivered and drank a bunch of wine.

So much for being all cleansed and healthy and stuff.

I felt like quite the mighty Fail Whale for not being able to suck it up and stick it out.  Plus I haven’t been to the gym in eons.  I’m really sucking at fitness/diet life these days.

Tomorrow night, I fly out to NJ for a long weekend.  Bridal Shower and chillin’ with friends and family.  Not much fitness, but a whole lot of fun.

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About meredithelaine

thirty-something. karaoke diva. just trying to get by.
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