I suppose this is an “I’m sorry” – for being the absolute pill of a person that I’ve been since Tuesday. That’s how long I’ve been sick – in varying degrees of severity and style. Not always nauseous, not always dizzy. Not always able to speak; not always able to breathe through my nose. I drink gallons of water and still end up dehydrated. My throat swells up and nearly shuts. I have coughing fits that last minutes on end.
So forgive me if I’m not the sparkling personality that you’re normally used to.
I have tried DayQuil, Tylenol PM, Ibuprofin and Claritin. Nothing is working. We’re still in the midst of a heatwave, so while I’m trying to rest and relax and sleep, I’m actually tossing and turning and drenching myself with sweat. I haven’t been comfortable since I got sick. Actually that’s a lie. My apartment is actually tolerable in temperature between 3-7am.
Friday night I attempted to go out. I was getting stir-crazy, and thought maybe some cold Coors Lights might help. So much for that plan. I drank and sang until I was one sip away from disaster. I woke up hating myself for even attempting to go out. I woke up with a throat more sore than the night before, and absolutely no voice.
I attempted to heat up some soup yesterday – thinking, well, that’s what you DO when you’re sick. Last thing I want to do, honestly, is eat hot food in a hot house, but it turns out it didn’t matter anyway. The soup was nasty. Chicken Corn Chowder. This morning I went to the grocery store and picked up some Chicken Noodle and some Tomato soup. We’ll see what happens.
My body HURTS. I’m not getting the rest I need. I watched about 4 hours of shows on MSNBC about prison life last night. I would like to stop sweating. I would like to stop coughing so painfully that my chest aches. The sniffling could cease any time now.
I’ve gotten some jokes, from coworkers and other people I know, about Swine Flu. I laugh, but I honestly want to shake people and say YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC I AM AND THAT I HONESTLY THINK I MAY DIE WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
Usually Eric is the one who calms me down when I panic like this. Well guess what? He’s NOT HERE. He is busy and working and not within arms length to rub my tummy when I don’t feel well, and buy me tissues when I need them. Call me needy, childish or fucking co-dependent. I don’t care. I am not coping well on my own.
Did you know that when rappers are talking about sippin’ on syrup, they LITERALLY MEAN SYRUP – like prescription cough syrup? With Codeine and shit in it? I figured it was a mixed drink of sorts. Like Vodka Cran or something. Nope, more like Codeine Syrup and soda. Go figure. This is what I learned yesterday because I watched Lil’ Wayne’s Behind The Music on Vh1. I used to have TONS of left over cough syrup with Codeine from all the other times I’ve been sick. But LIKE AN IDIOT, I got rid of it. Maybe because it expired, or maybe because that stuff kinda made me nauseous. Now, however, I am kicking myself because if I had only KNOWN, I might be drunk and happy and, I don’t know, maybe NOT SICK ANYMORE. Maybe I would have even come up with some slick rhymes and I’d be rich and famous and not in debt.
We shall never know, now. Because I’m a dumbass who throws away her old prescriptions.
I drank orange juice today. THAT’S how sick I am. I hate orange juice. That shit is vile. Unless there’s champagne mixed in. Then it’s tolerable. Huh, I wonder how OJ would taste mixed with some syzzurp?